Be Glad They're Telling You Off

Published: Thu, 11/21/13

Get past the discomfort to discover the gift.

As a manager, have you ever been in a situation like this?

You're dreading this meeting. You're rolling out the new changes to the benefits plan. Of course employees are going to be paying more for less. Your goal is to keep the reaction to a low roar.

One of your employees ambushes you in the hallway. He doesn't understand why Project X is being delayed, again. "Why does this keep happening?" You try to explain. He keeps interrupting you.

You notice something is a little off with one of your employees. You ask to meet with her. She responds to your attempts to get the conversation going with non-committal monosyllables. Finally the dam breaks. She lets you have it about a fellow employee getting a plum assignment that she wanted.

It's part of the job.

Whether the grievance is warranted or not, you are going to be on the receiving end of situations like this occasionally -misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or legitimate frustrations. It can really be uncomfortable. But what if we reframed this?

All that emotion -it's good news!

Yes, good news. Focus on what you are learning from everything your employee is telling you. Don't hurry them. Take them seriously, even if you don't understand the emotion.

The ironic part of this is, when we aren't being rushed to calm down, when we feel taken seriously and heard, the wind goes out of our sails and we begin to come down in that moment.

Leadership is taking people seriously, no matter what.

They may appear to be jumping to conclusions or making assumptions. But here's more good news. In many cases the level of emotion you're seeing means they care. They care about what is going on. Let's assume they wouldn't be in your face if it weren't important. They are engaged. This is certainly preferred over the silent, resigned, indifferent, or burned out employee.

They may just need to be heard, or have a really valid point . Muster up the desire to legitimately understand. You never know what you might learn, and in the process, you might strengthen your working relationship too.

My Best,

Mary Schaefer
Coach and Trainer for Managers of People

"Empower your employees by empowering yourself first."

www.empoweredmanagers.com

P.S. Be on the lookout for more details about a new opportunity within the next week. I'm preparing to offer a limited number of complimentary consultations to anyone who has the "How to Make the Most of One-on-One Meetings with Your Employees" guide.

Oh, and if you don't have this guide yet, you can order it by completing the form at this link. No worries, when you order, you won't start receiving duplicate emails from me.

Images: Microsoft Clipart

Did you receive this email from a friend or colleague?

To get more messages like this one, subscribe to my email list here.

If you don't have your fr/ee copy yet, click the image below.

Transform your interactions and results with employees through The Empowered Manager's Success Kit.