"Oh, that's just Charlie.
This is what I heard when I gave a community leader some feedback on how one of his highly visible and influential cohorts was coming across to a large audience.
In this
case, I was attending a town meeting of sorts. There was a group of panelists - all esteemed and influential members of the community, some elected or appointed officials. This meeting was intended to be part of a larger series of discussions like this across the country. It was being live-streamed on the internet,
and video-recorded.
Denial is more than a river in Egypt.
One member of the panel,"Charlie", due to nervousness or something (this is me being magnanimous)... made several ill-chosen comments. At a minimum, his comments left me feeling he didn't want to be there with us. My more pointed interpretation is that he felt above this forum and audience.
On one occasion a well-known business owner spoke up, ending her story with, "I'll stop talking now." Charlie quipped, "I doubt that's possible." They clearly knew each other and he intended to be joshing with her, but still...
Now you can chalk up his behavior to many many things. I won't go into that. I want to talk more about how his superior in the room chose to respond.
Your mission, should you choose to accept
it...
At the end of of the session, I asked Charlie's superior for a few minutes of his time privately. This is pretty close to what I said after introducing myself.
"I'm not trying to sell you anything. I have some feedback for you. Are you open to hearing that? (yes). It is probably not going to be like any other feedback you are going to hear today. (ok) I want you to know that I felt you came across with openness, authenticity and humility."
He was surprised and appreciative. I then said,
"In contrast, your colleague could use some media training. Some of the comments he made did not make a good impression."
The man laughed knowingly and then he actually said, "That's just Charlie. He's not going to change."
I responded with,
"I want to say again, that I am not trying to sell you
anything, but here is who I am. (I handed him a card showing I was a management consultant). I know you did not ask for my advice or observation.
You can dismiss this as, "That's just Charlie," but I want to remind you that this session was streamed live on the
internet, and the video-recording is being posted now, so it can be seen anywhere by anyone, anytime, pretty much, and I don't know that you want those type of comments representing your organization."
His face turned quite sober then. I thanked him for his time.
Do you have a Charlie?
At one time her or his behavior may have seemed harmless, but can you still be sure of that? Who is watching, listening or being targeted by this behavior who could send work your way, favor your organization with a decision, cooperate in a time of crisis, etc.?
The question I want to leave you with is, "How much longer are you going to let your Charlie damage your brand, or organization's productivity, or reputation, or others' desire to work with you? As a boss if you find yourself saying, "Oh, that's
just Charlie," I want to encourage you to think again.
Image: iStockphoto contributor jaroon
